Why am I a witch?

Which is a good question. What was the path I took which led me to here? Why have I chosen this?
I do not see myself as Wiccan. Wicca was a launching pad which got me here. Wicca has limitations. What is it exactly that I practise? I would call it a thought process...I can say I am teaching myself to think in a way which is empowering and beneficial to myself and my goals.

Why am I forcing myself to learn this? Because I hate the words no..and "it cannot be done" and for all the times that I thought, "why the hell not?"

I knew from early that I had a problem with the word "No." and no irked me most when the experience of the thing was so tempting, and I was not allowed to experience it. Mind you, nothing I wanted to experience was dangerous...no drugs, no wild sex no guns....but gathering information about different lifestyles has always intrigued me. I want to see another thought stream, another lifestyle. Eventually I would see the limitations in them and begin to seek further. Put me in any system, and I would see the limitations and begin to push past them.

The mental state involved in being a Witch...a real honest to goodness one....has you in a state of "all is possible". The only thing which is impossible are the things YOUR mind tells you is impossible. And has that conclusion of impossibility been reached because you have tried and failed? Or is it just that the fears of those who have gone before have told you that it is impossible? Then, how do you change this point of view and change your belief?

Every individual is connected to the All Creative. All our thoughts come from the same source. If you think something, it is because it is time to create it and make it manifest for the greater good....as long as it harm none. If you don't create it, then someone else who hones into that same channel will. It is meant to be created. The only thing that limits the individual, is their inability to believe that it can be done by them.

Being a Witch teaches you that all things are possible. The only thing that limits you, is you. And when you reach that mental state where spells no longer need the runes, and cards and herbs.....when you can sit quietly in your space and will a thing, or better yet you can zone out the psychic babble which surrounds you and center yourself, and will the thing.....then you know you are on the right path to creating a higher you.

Raindrops on Skin

There are some people that you notice sometimes move in similar experiences to yours. One of my "Sisters in Creation" and I occasionally have similar experiences which I marvel at. To me, our lives cannot be more different, but our cycles sometimes cross at points, or don't cross.

Recently, I had an experience getting to know a new guy. He had invited me to an outdoor party or Fete as we call it here, and it began to rain. In true island style, out comes the umbrellas for this fete and the party continued. Our group did not have an umbrella and we happily partied in the rain. At one point, my guy attempted to brush the raindrops from my arm, and time just froze. While at that point my mind was not clear what I felt about him.....the touch made it all too clear. The electrical zap that I got from his touch was hypnotic, and as he casually brushed the wetness from my arm, every skin cell reacted to his touch, sending a vibrating pulse along the rest of my body.

and then Elspeth posts this video.......LOL.........love the connection.

I've had too much to think

The mind that is trying to clear is sometimes the same mind that blocks the process. Its a bitch that one tool can work in opposing sides at the same time. I had to stop myself last night when I realized that I was obsessing about my problems and blocking the solutions from coming. A friend reminded me that over thinking a situation could lead to me becoming depressed....which is exactly what I was beginning to feel.

During this time though, I was able to come up with a plan. Now that I have this plan I would try to shift my mind to something a little less serious. Lets shake this thing up a bt. I have had too much to think.....over thunked?
Time to kick up my heels and have some fun....hmmmm....what can I do? No Magick, no reading, no thinking, no goal setting.........lets just let the days flow.......

The Gathering

Great epic stories always tell of a period in time where a gathering of people and minds take place to push the world to a new direction.
On an astral level, I feel this is happening. I feel the shifts in the ether. On the physical level, I see it happening around me. I am watching, and being a part of several people; who ; in some way or the other; have all been lonely.
I am watching as these individuals who were yearning for the sharing of themselves in more meaningfull ways, are coming together slowly; and building relationships with like-minded people.
What this group will become I am not able to foresee. All I can say is that I feel the bonds strengthening and pulling closer, and this group would be very significant in my life, and there is the possibility of the strongest influence coming from three particular people in this group.
It is too early to tell.....and my heart is not free to decide as yet; but I feel there is potential for an extremely deep connection with one......and as I write this, I can feel the fear in me indicating that I am not ready to deepen that as yet.

What will be, will be...........there is time yet.................and only the Goddess will make that decision.

Emotional Pause

Haven't blogged in ages. There are two reasons. The first is that I have been going through and emotional turmoil, which has only started settling in the last two or three weeks. I am beginning to see the silver lining.
The second is that I have no computer home for a while; and I feel uncomfortable getting into my zone ate work. Don't like the interuptions.
But like all things witchy, the full moon heightens my senses....add to that an unusual feeling cold that seems to make it even worse...and I feel like I am one foot in the astral and one foot in the manifest.

But a question has been running through my mind. How do you put your mind on an emotional hold? Not as in "feel nothing" but as in becoming a detached observer to the things that unfold before you.

I have realized that sometimes its enough to desire.....and let it go trusting that the Goddess has your best interest at heart. Many times I have done this and gotten exactly what I wanted, no fuss, no bother. It is a trick I have to put into practice more often.
My days have been filling with sunshine. I have been meeting new people, and for the first time in ages I am realising what it is like to have a circle of friends who feel more like family than family itself. All I can say for now is that I am falling in love with the entire group of mad asses.......and that I cannot believe that I did not have friends like these before.

Desires for things will be put on hold for a while and I shall hang upside down, totally contrary to my previous "expectations" of what friendship is; and just observe the special magick being worked before me.

Casting fear

Now, I am a little reluctant to cast. The reason is I am not in my usual emotional state, and I know that any attept at casting may include me losing focus and thinking the wrong image when I do.

I am afraid to cast because I realize that I totally misinterpret the things that will make me happy.

All I can do are gratitude rituals. When I realize something I should be thankfull for, I offer up something to the Goddess in thanks. I am now hesitant to want.....hesitant to desire....ecause I don't know if it will be good for me.

I am magickally on hold.....just letting the Universe reveal itself as it should.

The Joy of not Knowing

Divination can be a useful tool if used wisely. One thing I have noticed though, is that upon recieving messgaes from above, our mind gets "fixed" to that paradigm, and all other possibilities wich can happen are thrown out the window as we accept the reading we are given.

What if the response we get from the cards, tes leaves etc is not what we want. How do we change the energies to create a better outcome for ourselves. In a situation where neither choice is the perfect one, how do we resist the urge to "seal" the outcome in our minds and leave it up to fate to do what is best for us?

Knowing defines the outcome. Knowing puts a stamp on the "its going to happen." When you do not kow what's next, the journey can be just as enjoyable as you flit from happy point to happy point, just content to go along with the gifts that come your way.

This is especially important when you are going through a transitional period in your life. Not knowing may be the remedy you need.

ENERGY ALERT- Solar Eclipse

The energies from a solar eclipse are very potent. I hope the following describes the energies:

1) Imgine the sensation of inhaling all you can and holding...and that point where you first exhale, the energies are released.

2) Imagine watching a wave gather, crest...at the time when it crests.....

Can you imagine a feel the energies. There is a pause...just a small moment when all cycles have ended...and here comes the new time.

All soloar Eclipses come with a New Moon (so I have learnt) and spellwork that is done for a new moon is extremely potent here. Gear up for something big. What new development would you like to have? What new cylce is beginning.

For my part I am at a HUGE transition in my life... I am fluctuating between cycles in career, family and love. There has been a huge shift in my life emphasizing new beginnings, and major changes to come. So I will be up at 5am (my time) which is about the time that the energies will touch down in the Earth somewhere in India.........

For more info to assist you in creating a ritual for this time...you can use the same correspondences as AIR..........

Links :http://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/SEmono/TSE2009/TSE2009.html

The Danger of Astrology

It all started with me reading a text somewhere about my astrological configurations for 2008-2009. I read that this period will be the time of casting away, and letting go of all things that were not real, or really good for me. Jobs, places, relationships. That got me spooked. How real is my current relationship? We had been together eight years, we had a reasonably happy family life. But something inside me, and inside him knew that something was hollow. I felt it, he felt it, but niether of us were facing up to it.
Instead of letting events take place naturally, I badgered and bagered and nagged him to reveal what his feelings were for me. Must have caught him in a bad time. He exploded.....sort of..... accused me of pushing him over the edge and trying to force him to feel what he didn't feel.
The arguement died, we even made up...sort of.
Again I pushed....this time it was decided that if neither of us were truly happy in the relationship, maybe we would be better off apart. He says that for the last five years he hasn't loved me, and has stayed for the sake of the children. That hurt. Here was a man, who I cannot have any fault with his ability to provide for us, admitting that he was not happy with me. It was agreed that he would move at the end of the month.

Things sort of calmed down for a few days. We even made passionate love, before it began I asked him if he was using me, or I was forcing him....but he said no, he wanted to make love. All that day he was sweet, we made love twice........ I thought we were back on track.... I had hoped.

But then I pushed again....and it broke this time......flaring up in an arguement which hurt so musch, I had to push him out the door. The faster he left, the faster we'd get on with our lives.

Would this have happened if the thought was not injected into my mind? I don't know. But I still think there is danger in knowing too much.

Garlic and Lime Tea for sniffles and Sore Throat

I had a sore throat coming on, plus fears of swine flu with sniffles added. I've been reading about the curative effects of garlic for colds, and lime as well. So I blended this tea, and found an almost instant soothing of my throat which lasted until the next day. Had another dose last night as the itchy throat was returning, but was okay well into the next day. Its 3:00pm and I feel okay. The sore throat has gone, only a slight sniffle remains. The taste takes getting used to but if you like garlic that shouldn't be a problem.

I actually buy a bag of fresh garlic (about 5 heads) occasionally, and blend the whole batch. It keeps in the fridge for about two weeks, and so easy to scoop out what you need. I do not like buying crushed garlic in the supermarket, because there are always other things in there.

Ingredients:

1 tsp Garlic which has been crushed and blended

half a small lime

Two teaspoons sugar

Hot water to fill your cup.

Blend all together and stir widershins, imagining the healing powers getting stronger. Further visualize the germs shriveling to a pulp when you drink it. Enjoy !

Remember, if symptoms persist for more than two days, see a doctor!

Selene- Moon Goddess

Selene, Moon Goddess. Daughter of Titans Thela and Hyperion. Sister of Helios(Sun) and Eos (dawn). Selene fell in love with the mortal Endymion, a shepherd. To ensure he had eternal life, Selene cast a spell to make him sleep forever, with his permission of course. They had 50 daughters together.

From my observations, the following is a list of effects from invoking Selene.

1) Sleep patterns are disturbed.

2) Dreams are more lucid, and energies hover more into the day. These energies can be felt with a shifting of attention.

3) Daytime mind is cloudy and lethargic.

4) Tendency to loose touch with lreality.

5) Magickal understanding increases.

Selene- Goddess of the Moon

Some time back when preping my plant familiar, intuition made me refer to her as Selene.

My familiar's spirit would leave the plant during my spell, travel throught the ether to do my work, and return to the basil plant on my porch.

One day...a guilt trip came over me. I suddenly felt the need to release the spirit, and I let Selene off on her own.

A few weeks ago, while out on the porch looking out in the night, a thought popped into my head..."Selene, show me a sign." Then, in the little grove at the center of the neighbourhood, out flies a huge bird, odd; as it was nighttime. It was either and owl, or a hawk.

Both birds have similar meanings, a guide, teacher, or wise one to show you the way.

I have yet to meet the wise one, I know that I am sometimes closed to others spiritually guiding me. The Wise One, may be Selene herself.

I have found that my thoughts are on the goddess archetypes these days, and I have begun study of them. May I be open to a wise one....if there is one around.

Goddess Candle

When you make your own ritual tools, the energies are stronger. Made this candle last weekend, strictly for the Goddess. I am waiting for Full Moon to light it to pay homage.

I really wish, that there could be a permanent Goddess Altar somewhere in Trinidad. Chaguaramas would be nice...think they would give me a space?