Mad-capped Witch - Witchcraft for anxiety

Hello Everyone......I am Celtic Crystal....just thought I'd reintroduce myself. Celtic Crystal is an alter ego which allows me to explore this side of myself without having to face the wrath of family member in this tiny island I live on. Such explorations, if made public, may result in uncomfortable circumstances for me and my family. We are a very superstitious island, and there is the possibility of being rejected, kicked out of schools and losing jobs...as it will be perceived that we practice "obeah" or are in league with Satan.

What is the attraction to me? Well the chance to be exposed to mind expanding concepts and other aspects of esoteric culture...if there is such a thing.

This path has taken my mind, uprooted me from the boring closet reality and given me tools to cope with quite a lot of today's issues. Because of witchcraft, Western mystery traditions and all the other etc's that I delve into; my ability to cope with life's challenges is like a balloon bobbing through the air observing all that goes on around me. 

I still get panic attacks, I still have mood swings, but now I have the tools to recognize them, and to stop them in their tracks!

A very very great coping mechanism this has been.

I must point out though....I get bored very easily, and as soon as I recognize the patterns in a topic, it quickly becomes stale...and I need to move on.

Still on the theme of Witchy-ness I shall begin to explore new types of " Witchy Living" in the realm of home decor and housing...... because my journey is soon to take me to a new abode...and I am going to have to create my space.

Call it research into visual imagery.....

Hope you will continue the journey with me.

At the Crossroads

I feel like I am in the center of this picture. But honestly , there are a few more roads in my mind.
I am here, where I am supposed to be always, but feeling for the first time a sense of expansion, and opportunity. I feel larger than I have ever been before. I can spiritually pivot on one foot, and turn in all directions and cannot find the path to take which seems exciting. I am only talking about inner mental journeys here, please note that. Nothing which I used to explore anymore seems magickal. The sparkle of the inner has been lost a bit, and I know why.

There is someone, who keeps me in tune with the outer world. That someone is bent on living this life with as much fun as he can possibly have. His boyish good looks, and his zest for life and all the experiences it can offer; has pulled my inner child out facing the world to see what's there on the outside to be experienced.
On the outside, I am holding his hand and skipping down the pathway to happy experiences. Life with him is "rich" in experiences. Life is fun again, new again...and there is magick on the outside of my mind again.

So internally I am at a crossroads, and I will pause for a spell- because externally I may be prancing down some new reality holding the hand of someone I love.

Passion

Coming out from my last post it got me thinking whay so many of my "ideas" remain just ideas and are never manifest. Especially when it comes to career. Thats because I know I lack the passion for it. When it comes to the Fire stage, I fizzle. Creating the idea for me is what I am passionate about, but most of them lack the kind of touchstone which would stoke the fire in me.

Even in my current job I feel the claws of boredom setting in, and not one project has given me excitiment as yet that I feel the urge to wake in the morning and get to work. I know I have to do something soon, because very soon the boredom will be like a crippling vise grip on my mind, and that cycle would begin again.

What am I passionate about? Art, magick, anything which forces me to create by hand. I wish I could learn woodworking, I wish I could learn a skill like plastic molding etc which can take a design from the paper onto a practical usable aspect. Even learning welding to learn to make my own things........

I need to sit with myself and have a stern talk. I am a creative soul, and I am happiest when I am formulating a painting, an image, a design for something I would love to have, or even writing a story, essay or blog. My mind feels like I am in touch with the Higher Creative and I feel enlivened by some power which courses through me. Can't explain the feeling further, but it is where I feel elated.

Having to do the job I do during the day, pulls me out of that zone. There is no connection to something greater when I do it, rather a feeling of floundering in a muddy pool.

This current contract must be the last of its kind that I take. I have three years to build an alternate career out of what I love. I must sit down and think this through.