Creating my own god

In reading "The Power of Myth" as told by Bill Moyers in interviewing Joseph Campbell, I was struck by this particular quotation:
"A god is the personification of a motivating power or value system that functions in human life an in the universe- the powers of your own body and of nature. The myths are metaphorical of spiritual potentiality in the human being, and the same powers that animate our life animate the life of the world."


I began to wonder if the inability to attain my goal, is because of my disbelief that any god will support such a goal. 
I need then to break down the goal to its very essence, its underlying energy, and to "create" a god that supports my ideas and mimics the energies needed.
My myth needs to be reflective of the spiritual goal that i am trying to reach.
Creating my own god......my own personification of myself as I wish to be......funnnnnn

Spirits, Memes and energies- Dealing with negative influences

In the Christian revivalists’ faith, many speak about “Spirits” which are passed from person to person, just by constant associations with them. Evolutionary theorists call these phenomena “Behavioral Memes” which is observed when an idea passes from one individual or another, and is taken on as a “belief” system, which then affects the person’s reaction to certain situations.

I myself, after a few months of observing, realized that I had unconsciously adopted one such meme. There are two individuals working close to me who are constantly under the fear that they are being victimized. I caught myself the other day mentally brooding over the same idea, and started to observe this more carefully. It was indeed a meme, a spirit of…… choose which ever name you wish to call it. Added to that, was the tendency of the two of them to over dramatize every little event, as if it was deliberately put there to thwart them (I guess it’s the same thing as feeling victimized constantly).

Just noticing the phenomenon is enough to turn your mind around.

That we are able to adopt each other neurosis is a scary thing. For the opened mind, it is a scary thing.

Good thing I know about Psychic Shields.

BOS Entry 2008 - “Hold your hands out at your sides, with your palms facing the ground. Imagine all stress, strain and worry, and any other physical discomfort flowing from your body down into the ground. Imagine it all being transmuted to positive energy (it may glow a different happy colour like bright gold). Next, imagine the energy of the earth as a golden or citrine light. This light enters your feet and fills up your whole body. You feel the flow stop as it reaches the top of your head.

Then imagine a bubble of blue-white light surrounding you like an egg. It forms from the top of your head and arches all the way down into the ground under your feet. Now imagine zipping it up from the ground up. There is your Protective Sphere. All negative energies will now bounce off of it and not enter you. As you go about your day, you will see the negative energies coming. But they cannot touch you, as they bounce off your sphere!

Blessed Be.

Energies combine

Two paths has been emerging within my psyche, and at first I was looking at them seperatly, but now I see how they have been coming together slowly. Now I see where all the experiences before would have reached this point eventually.

The two issues which have been coming to a head are:

1) My creative side wishes to create something of mastery...something beyond the current mind. Something that requires me reaching further than myself.

2) My magickal mind wishes to seek something with a deeper meaning. It wishes to know something fully to the point of mastering the topic or issue...a deepening of faith or magickal connection.

And the two are related. Looking back at my life's journey I realized because what I sought, was far away from the mainstream of my experience, I had to sample bits and peices to eventually reach this point of knowing where my passion lies and understanding what I was meant to do with these experiences I have gathered.

One of Deborah Lipp's books highlights the problem I have in my mind. As an eclectic seeker I have walked among many magickal paths. But my eclectic mind seems to gloss over the details, getting the "jist" of the topic, and not seeking the deeper detailed meaning behind every line, every symbol and every hand gesture.
As she puts it :

Best of Traditional Wicca
Structured ritual: This imparts confidence to the participants; in a word, they know what they are doing. It engenders thoughtfulness. Traditional Wiccans are taught that each part of the ritual and each rule is there for a reason, so they tend to look for the reasons within ritual. Traditional rituals tend to have an overarching logic; the whole thing holds together.

In her analysis of the methods of approaching the Eclectic ways; she comments:

Worst of Eclectic Wicca
Dilution: A Wicca that allows everything and has no inherent rules can be very watered down and tepid, and eclectic ritual sometimes reflects this.

Now there are arguments against this very theory which Lipp herself outlines in her book: The Study of Witchcraft, but these are the point that resonate with me currently in my present state of mind.

From this point on, I am building a foundation for the future. It's the time for it. Saturn is in my Sun sign.... the energies are coming together. I want something less flighty, with more meaning. I want to create a strong solid foundation from which I can launch my future. Now that I know where I want to go, now that I have given up the traveling all over my brain, and trying different things, and I know the paths I want to be on, and I know the street where I want to live... so to speak.
I have realized my fear "triggers" and have dissolved their power, conquering my demons so to speak. I have explored all the other distractions and have found them lacking.

 Where I am heading now, I am heading because I know that this is where I am meant to go.....like going home....where my heart is...... Blessed Be.

                         

Wait a minute! I've been here before!

Talk about being trapped in a cycle. I am creating a book which pulls together essays from my blogs and journals, and had to browse through them to pull out the appropriate material. Most of my journals have mundane stuff and griping. Its how I relieve stress sometimes. But what was glaringly obvious is that, even after 5 years, the issues which I had then are the same issue I have now.

I haven't grown? I haven't moved forward? Such a revelation gave me another headache instantly! As if I hadn't already been battling headaches enough!Themes which came forward are:
1) Didn't like managing and working for people
2) I wish for enough money (in the millions) so that I could pursue my dream
3) The blissful state I feel when doing my biggest love and wishing I could do it full time

You know, I could kick myself. I haven't done anything in five years to say that I have moved on from those issues or grown. I saw where I kept going around and around in circles. Leaving the job, trying to start a business, not having enough money, having to go back to work, hating the job, leaving the job, trying to start a business, not having enough..... you get the point.

I know that I have to work for myself. I know that I can. What I have to plan is the products which I can create using these images that I paint. I also need to find some way to cut down my expenses to make it more feasible. Hmmm.... I must break this nightmarish cycle. Its starting to feel like a really bad dream.

The Silk Cotton Tree

As a child you wouldn't dare to be near a silk cotton tree on a full moon night. As a matter of fact, you wouldn't dare be near one at all. Malicious spirits of all types roamed under this tree......so you could understand why a child's imagination would see it as evil.

When did this begin to be taught to our youngsters. I ask why, because in West Africa, Puerto Rico,and other places where the Silk Cotton Tree plays a part in the spiritual Heritage of the African Diaspora, the Silk Cotton tree is seen as a link between the spiritual world ans ours. It is not placed in the "evil" file. Rather, it is seen as a place where one can commune with spirits of old, and seek their wisdom. Offering up gifts to the ancestors for wisdom, or connecting with nature for healing is what the tree represents for most.

When did Jamaica (Duppy Tree) and Trinidad start seeing it as evil, and disconnecting from its healing energies? This me chooses to ponder....hmmmmmmmmm.