Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Stranger


Do you really know who I am?
You read my blog, you post on my page.
But do you know me?

Do you know the hurt I feel daily?
Are you there to carry my burdens.
Are you a friend, or was I choosen because of a cool name?
Are you hoping that being acquainted with me validates your place in the world?

Are you there when my pain is great?
Do you know I am homeless?
Do you know, that each day I live with the possibility of not eating tomorrow?
Do you know that each day I live with the pain of not seeing tomorrow,
Of losing my kids,
Of losing my mind?

Do you really know?............................

Monday, January 30, 2012

SPIRAL SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

Our spiritual development is indeed like a Spiral Dance. (Kudos to Starhawk)

An anonymous reader reminded me of something the other day which stopped me in my mental tracks and forced me to start looking inward again. The clutter and confusion I feel may indeed be my mental clutter.

I attempted to do a mental clearing on Sunday gone and realized that there was more work to be done than I thought.  I am surrounded by Toxic thinkers, and cannot remove myself from them for a while. However, I need to offload the junk that I have been carrying and re-focus on my goals and MY moving ahead.

The above drawing shows a type of mental trap that you can get yourself into. The center being your  predominant thoughts and beliefs; your journey moves outward in that spiral motion, continuously re-assessing the same issues associated with the Central Thoughts. Eventually, at some point, you may realize that your Central thoughts are controlling your life, and actually trapping you in a cycle. 

You must shift your  focus elsewhere.

 This changes the vibrational quality of your mind, your Center begins a different vibration. You move from a re-hashing of those issues and begin to focus on something else.

Now this is where is gets tricky. Anxiety, stress and worry about issues related to these Central Thoughts cause us to go  back and forth in that spiral moving outward and inward, but still trying to process that same isues. 

Its a trap we can get into.

Does it ever change? Clearly, when we realize that fear of the thing is more damaging than the thing itself.

How do I know that I am at this stage? Because I no longer feel a connection to the Divine. I have not felt that the activities that I do during the day truly are taking me to a stronger better me. I seem to be expected to fulfill others needs constantly and put "me" tasks on the back burner. This has me feeling stuck in a whirlwind with no end insight until I am physically able to remove myself from these toxic people who constantly scream"Me me me...look at me, help me!!!!" and make no effort to help themselves.


My work on clearing my mind continues....but I feel like the crap comes back because I keep having to rest my head there.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Pastor Thinks I am Evil......








I think the number one new career in this country is to become a pastor. Not a priest mind you, a "cast out your Demons" pastor. Maybe its the money?
So Son of Pastor gets me in the corridor at work and starts questioning the validity of my faith.

" Who do you pray to?"
" The Gods"
"Do they answer you?"
"Yes"
"Is your life in turmoil since you stopped going to church?"

"Actually, its been a lot better since I stopped going to Church and started searching for Spirituality in myself."

Son of Pastor winces at this one. "Have you given yourself to God?"

"Given.......I never removed myself...what's there to give?"

You know, the whole problem of this "Wicca is evil " thing is that people just need to be educated about it and stop worrying about the lies and misinformation that others tell them. You would never think that the priest / pastor would lie. 

But they do, from our point of view of course. Reality is relative, and not because a spiritual person of another faith tells you something is evil it means he is correct. He, like everyone else has been misinformed. 
Google the damn thing and get other opinions. 

There are always three sides to a story, the trick is to find the third side.

Blessed Be
Born I was with Saturn's Sight
And I too young to know this plight
Did wander round in restless night
His walls which kept me in.

I'd push until I could push no more
Rebelious and stifled
at Saturn's door
my mind will be trapped my emotions sore
My inner self just screaming

And Saturn taunted me
He teased me

Every where I turn to escape
Like some dreaded warden
he'd show me the bars which stopped
and blocked and limited my flight.

I'd befriended the aura of Venus fair
And so Saturn hated her there
He'd block and bar my lady fair
from showing me more minds

In my limited darkness I'd be in pain
bewildered and hopeless
and almost insane
the boundaries around me I pushed in vain.
And Venus would try to save me.

She'd send me gifts
and Saturn would block them.
Relationships and wealth were not to be mine.
He showed me their limits all of the time.

But Venus, being of quick mind
whispered a plan to me
We'd do a spell to push Saturn back
Enlist the help of Jupiter of expansive energies.


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Hestia

Hestia is a little known goddess of Greek Mythology. She happens to be my focus now. Daily invoking her energies, I hope to be able to fast forward the process of finding us a home.

Hestia is the behind the scenes person. She is balance and stability. She is the patron goddess of the home fires and the hearth, the one who keeps things comfortable for the family. She is the wise woman, the quiet knowledgeble support for all who reside under her roof. The perfect goddess for the home maker.
I hope, that focusing on Hestia, I will prepare to recieve our new home in the time that we need it. Really, this experience has made me realize how important it is to my kids to have their own space.

I created this little chant to use in my ritual:

For calm by day and rest by night
A home I seek from thee.
I ask oh Hestia
Lead us to a place of 
Sanctuary.
A home of our own
And peace of mind

for happy family
And it harm none, so mote it be.


My next task will be to paint my own version of Hestia, which I will keep to hang over the entrance to my apartment when I get it. Lets see how this goes before I post it in the Godopeadia.






Tuesday, December 20, 2011

How to write rituals that work for you.


Keep track of what you
 do and when. It helps also track the
progress of your spell as it  unfolds

People ask me all the time to share my rituals and spells. And I say no…..
Am I selfish?  Not at all….. but why give  people something they would have no use for? Why give a man a fish, when you can teach him to fish?
Rituals and spells are meant to configure the mind to assist in bringing the belief that want you want to happen can be possible. Rituals and spells MUST be catered to the individual for them to work. I know a lot of traditionalists are going to jump down my throat at that one. However, if a ritual (tool of change) has to have a psychological effect on the individual….then who best to create the tool than the person whose mind needs it?

First, you need to know the difference in purpose between a Ritual and a Spell.
A Ritual is to be carried out often at a particular time. The ritual, reinforces an idea everytime you do it, and brings your mind into a particular focus. A morning ritual for example, which focuses on gratitude for the new day, should be repeated every morning. I have a six weeks ritual, which involves cleansing my home (when I had one) and clearing my mind of clutter. I also have a nightly ritual performed with my daughter, which clears the house and her room of the “beasties.”  It is meant to remove any negative energy from the home, and create a protective barrier as we sleep. It also causes her to rest peacefully without fear of “things under the bed.”
So note: RITUAL – Repeat at time set by you!! It reinforces an idea into your brain!!
SPELLS : These usually are created to change the course of something. Like when your job isn’t going right and you want a change….your love life needs to change, your finances need to change…..get it….change. And you are not changing anyone…you are usually changing yourself, your impressions on the matter, your needs…etc…the change is in you. Spells have the effect on your mind that from this point on (the spell point) I shall have no more of this bull…and be done with it! That’s what it tells your mind…or should.
So back to the creation of the spell or ritual, and I shall present this in that famous phrase : To Know, To Dare, To Will, To Keep Silent:
Using whats around
you and knowing how they
communicate with you is important.
TO KNOW:  To create effective rituals and spells that work for you…you must know Magick…..as in have research the methods, types and forms of Magick….. know which method draws you in. Know which method fills your heart with that magicky feeling and makes YOU feel empowered! That’s the one you use…the one that make you feel like the magick is there and you are riding on the wind! Know too….oh curios one…..the ASSOCIATIONS…and then throw them out the window!  After you have learnt all the Associations, pick apart your elements, your planets and look around you for objects, plants and things which you can associate with the elements and planets. The key is to use what you have in your environment to work your magick. Know that the Universe provides all that you need. Everything is right there….we just don’t always realize it. For example… in learning Magick all the herbal associations I learnt about were of plants that grow in temperate countries. There is no way I could find rowan trees, and ash and oak in a rainforest environment. I had to make do with coconut, bougainvillea, bay leaf, hibiscus….you get the drift. So it took some reflection and meditation on my part to see what my mind ASSOCIATED each local plant with…which qualities come to mind? It is a process which I am still working on……I started a blog… but I am kinda slow at blogging them down:http://herbalshadows.blogspot.com/
You have to know what touches which part of our heart. You have to know what draws you. You have to know which tools make you feel magickal…and if they don’t then do away with them. You have to know whether in Magick, your mind responds to visual, auditory, kinesthic, and let’s not forget smell and taste in the experience of the spell or ritual. ( Yes taste…I once created a delightful spell for happy days based on the sunlike image of a delicious fried egg with garlic mushrooms on the side for magicky connections with the earth!)
To know takes a lot of learning and research. It is worth it, even if it means one topic at a time learnt well. You have all your life to know yourself and what you respond to…and the fun is in the process/journey…not in the destination.

The gods are not laughing.
Think of them as personifications
of raw energies.
 I sometimes make up my own
enlisting the energies I need!
TO DARE: “What if I do a spell wrong? What if I do a ritual wrong?
If those thoughts are in your mind then don’t do any spell or ritual. Someone, has previously planted a seed in your mind. One that says that Magick is playing with things you know nothing about……..have they? Then you need to do some extra work on your belief that Magick is wrong/ evil/trouble/ can create trouble.
“To Dare” speaks to our confidence. Our confidence in ourselves. Our confidence in our knowledge. Our confidence in our beliefs. As I read somewhere : There is no god looking down at you laughing at your attempts to create the perfect ritual. There is no demon waiting for you to draw a symbol wrong so that he can jump in and wreak havoc on your life. Get those thoughts out of your head! Get that programming out of your mind! As a matter of fact…..just learn a good banishing spell and banish those thoughts from your brain for a few years before you attempt a spell again. If negative thoughts are in your head about something…it will never work for you as a psychological tool of change. If you have doubts about a chant, a herb, a colour our a candle or gem…don’t use it. Doubts and fears are destroyers of the work you do……when in doubt, don’t. Just wait a while and the solution may pop into your head.
TO WILL: Do you want the thing you are creating the ritual for? Have you thought it over…mulled through its implications on your life? Have you given thought to the effect it shall have on you and others around you? (Look up “And it harm none, so mote it be) After reflecting on the end result you want and what it may take to get there do you still Will it to happen? Are you absolutely wanting it so bad still that you can taste it and feel the happiness down to your toes at the thought of it taking place and all around you is sunshine and flowers.. J (being silly here of course)
Then by all means proceed….and hold that feeling in your heart as you do the spell/ ritual and use its energy to drive the power of the spell or ritual. WILL it strongly…even if it is only for two minutes……spells and rituals do not have to be long and elaborate. But they do HAVE to have the power of your concentrated emotion behind it. (Please be careful of spells done in anger…please always phrase you spell/ritual to make changes in you and no one else.)
TO BE SILENT : When you have done a spell or ritual…be done with it, and thank the Universe and the ALL Creative for granting you our request! And shut up about it. Telling someone what you have done is opening your mind to their opinions, which may have a negative effect on your mind. “Why did you use Avocado?” says the whiny voice, “Banana would have been more appropriate!” and so enters the seeds of doubt into your brain and pffffht! There goes the mental will behind your spell, the force that drives it to work. Your belief has been shattered, the spell has been shattered. (Picture the silver Magick forces who were going along just fine till you told. Now picture “doubt” like the miserable idiot that it is just running in and shattering the magicky silvery energy and all the tendrils of magick falling to the ground and going nowhere further.. See what telling does?) NEVER TELL!
Clearly you created the spell for your mind. Any other person has had different life experiences, and hence will be affected by different associations and methods……duh…. This is your mind…not theirs!
Note the format for these things . Have them in sections:
1)      Cleansing the space and yourself
2)      Opening announcing the spells intention
3)      The play : The part where you do the core thingy that makes the spell/ritual workable using the associations.
4)      The Thank you for granting what the spell/ritual was for
5)      The clean up in reverence and gratitude.
And it does not have to be elaborate. One of my best banishing/ clearing spells involves writing all the things I wish to get rid of on black paper with a silvery pen.  At the dark of the moon I burn them one by one in the flame of a black candle, and speak words telling them to begone and never return! It works for me….. very effective.
Another time, I had an issue which was causing some anxiety. I eventually ended up transforming the issue into an issue beastie by drawing it on paper. I worked to make the beastie as close as possible to what I felt….and then I burnt up the paper with the beastie in it!!! … Ahhhh…that felt better.
Don't worry, these are cast off
fairy wings! (Dried Hibiscus Petals)

Try as best as possible too to not even think about the spell…..if it pops into your head, automatically thank the gods and goddesses for granting it.

The point about this whole post is that the research into yourself, and creation of your own spells is the REAL thing that gets the Magick flowing. It’s not in performing the right ritual or chanting words you do not understand. It is in creating something that touched the core of your subconscious, and blasts away the negative thoughts that say the thing you want is not possible.
It’s the best work you can do for yourself……and they really do work.


Yule Reflections- a winter period

Yule Father....by Dan MIller

I would love to direct your attention to a story I read in Witchvox that prompted this line of reflection. Click here to go to it : http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=ussc&c=holidays&id=14874
The story tells of a winter, and of singing for hope that the happy days will soon return. At least that is what I got out of it.
 For the last six month I have been experiencing a "winter" in my life. Yeah yeah yeah...I live in the tropics....we see no winter, and never see a cooler temperature than 25 degrees Celcius. The winter I refer to is a metaphorical one. Since doing the Uranus Magick, and being jettisioned so to speak from my career, and from my home. I have been living a winter where things were scarce...I had a lot of reorganizing my mind as to what is important to me and..... with all the fears and worry....I pulled through. The solstice is upon us....and already I see signs of my Earth waking up!
Yule Ornament on my tree. A rare find on my island...wish I could find more.
This Yule, I shall celebrate with a clearing ritual first. All things that are past...are past. I shall then create a ritual to sing out my hopes to the future. To focus my mind on the good things to come, to speak of gratitude for these trials I have been through, this winter of my life. I know that such periods test the character of the individual.
Again, I did the Magick that prompted this life change. I create Uranus Magick, these are the things I requested:

1) To be removed from the high level management job that took up all my time and energy.
2) To find a part time flexible job that would free up my time
3)To be able to work on and build my career in art so that that artistic life would be the source of my income.

All of this was the aim of being a better me... less stressed...less grumpy...more fulfilled, and more family time.........
My Magick is working....for this I am grateful....now on to my ritual.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

A Clearing is needed



Aclearing needs to be done. I see signs of blockages in my life. I see the inability to connect with my higher mind. I see money owed to me and not flowing, and I see most of all a slight stagnation in the direction of my mind, and an inability to focus or feel settled.

At a time like this it is time for a cleansing. Usually I would clean out the house, and ritually cleanse with all four elements....however, since I reside in a house that is not mine....well...how can I?
How does one do a cleansing of one's space, when one has no space. The clutter around me is choking and I know this needs to be done.

I wish to do it either on the dark moon, or the last day of the year. I cannot go into the year with such baggage..... I need to clear my mind and think of an idea.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Playing "The Fool" a little too long

So ....for my work with Uranus Magick-attempting real change in my life, I had been focusing on The Fool Tarot Card to help change the old patterns of my vibrations to one of new possibility. Having ousted myself from my old life, and still waiting patiently for this one to "settle" down so to speak, I find that I have many opportunities being thrown on my path. My problem is that I am still in the mind set of wanting to experience "newness" or the "state of all possibilities" which is given by the Fool card meditation. I was contemplating this the other day when it hit me that for the last three months I have been in a state of suspension, and feel rather like a runner poised on the starting block waiting for the pistol to fire.......can you imagine the state of mind of the individual waiting for that starting sound, for hours, for days, for months? What would the person do....hang around waiting? Relax and walk away from the block.... do you stay on the track or do you go for a walk about and see whats what?

Perhaps, I then thought, I should be focusing on a card that indicated success and accomplishment. Then I should be meditating on The World. However, before reaching The World, I may have to divert to meditations on the four Aces to master thought, passions, emotions, and material realities......

With this in Mind... I am now attempting to assimilate teachings from The Master Key System, in the hopes that my thoughts will pull focus into what I want for myself........just as soon as I decide what that is.......


Oh...link to the Master Key System:The Master Key System

Monday, October 31, 2011

The need for Power over others

If I led a coven (which I have no intention of doing) and a young recruit came to me I would ask,"Why do you wish to be a witch?"

Should anyone reply : "To gain power over my enemies!" I would reply to them.." Sadly, your enemies have already won!"


A disturbing report to run on Samhain.... a report on teenaged depression which indicated that students in South Trinidad admitted to performing witchcraft to have power over their enemies. I often wonder why teenagers are power obsessed..... and lament at the Hollywood perception that witches can gain power over their enemies.

I wish that such misconceptions would stop. Time perhaps...... only time.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

That old familiar feeling



There is a particular quality around me these days that is so familiar. I am staying at relatives until I can find a place. But the feeling in this house is so familiar. Funny, I had a dream the other day where the three individuals in the house were represented as three lions. Not regal lions leading the heard, but lions so gripped by hunger that they attacked any one indiscriminately who looked like they could provide them with the food they crave.

The three minds are tied up in themselves, one tied by fear, one tied by a religion, and one tied by fears and rules placed upon that mind by the other two. It is very very painful to watch.
Because of the energy reverberating from these three, which permeates throughout the house, my muse has chosen to stay away. It is as if the very house itself  is one large mental trap with all their fears seeping through its very core. I look around at the animals and their reaction as well. The birds don't come near it, the dragonflies die near it.
The focus of the individuals in the house has the strongest personality seeking evil in everything and everyone. There is always a negative story to tell. So much resentment, so much fear, so much "look out for this or that."
The other mind supports the fears and quietly stand by, and the third, poor soul, is almost driven to madness and depression by these negative thoughts.
I am shielding everyday.
Hmmm.... Sun Magick for strength of character and dragonfly or butterfly magick for escape may help.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Where is it?

And the spiral continues.
We go back to that space where the magick seems to have gone. The focus and concentration needed to learn further has disappeared.

My mind is not mine.

It seems too taken up in the world right now.