Emotional Pause

Haven't blogged in ages. There are two reasons. The first is that I have been going through and emotional turmoil, which has only started settling in the last two or three weeks. I am beginning to see the silver lining.
The second is that I have no computer home for a while; and I feel uncomfortable getting into my zone ate work. Don't like the interuptions.
But like all things witchy, the full moon heightens my senses....add to that an unusual feeling cold that seems to make it even worse...and I feel like I am one foot in the astral and one foot in the manifest.

But a question has been running through my mind. How do you put your mind on an emotional hold? Not as in "feel nothing" but as in becoming a detached observer to the things that unfold before you.

I have realized that sometimes its enough to desire.....and let it go trusting that the Goddess has your best interest at heart. Many times I have done this and gotten exactly what I wanted, no fuss, no bother. It is a trick I have to put into practice more often.
My days have been filling with sunshine. I have been meeting new people, and for the first time in ages I am realising what it is like to have a circle of friends who feel more like family than family itself. All I can say for now is that I am falling in love with the entire group of mad asses.......and that I cannot believe that I did not have friends like these before.

Desires for things will be put on hold for a while and I shall hang upside down, totally contrary to my previous "expectations" of what friendship is; and just observe the special magick being worked before me.

Casting fear

Now, I am a little reluctant to cast. The reason is I am not in my usual emotional state, and I know that any attept at casting may include me losing focus and thinking the wrong image when I do.

I am afraid to cast because I realize that I totally misinterpret the things that will make me happy.

All I can do are gratitude rituals. When I realize something I should be thankfull for, I offer up something to the Goddess in thanks. I am now hesitant to want.....hesitant to desire....ecause I don't know if it will be good for me.

I am magickally on hold.....just letting the Universe reveal itself as it should.

The Joy of not Knowing

Divination can be a useful tool if used wisely. One thing I have noticed though, is that upon recieving messgaes from above, our mind gets "fixed" to that paradigm, and all other possibilities wich can happen are thrown out the window as we accept the reading we are given.

What if the response we get from the cards, tes leaves etc is not what we want. How do we change the energies to create a better outcome for ourselves. In a situation where neither choice is the perfect one, how do we resist the urge to "seal" the outcome in our minds and leave it up to fate to do what is best for us?

Knowing defines the outcome. Knowing puts a stamp on the "its going to happen." When you do not kow what's next, the journey can be just as enjoyable as you flit from happy point to happy point, just content to go along with the gifts that come your way.

This is especially important when you are going through a transitional period in your life. Not knowing may be the remedy you need.

ENERGY ALERT- Solar Eclipse

The energies from a solar eclipse are very potent. I hope the following describes the energies:

1) Imgine the sensation of inhaling all you can and holding...and that point where you first exhale, the energies are released.

2) Imagine watching a wave gather, crest...at the time when it crests.....

Can you imagine a feel the energies. There is a pause...just a small moment when all cycles have ended...and here comes the new time.

All soloar Eclipses come with a New Moon (so I have learnt) and spellwork that is done for a new moon is extremely potent here. Gear up for something big. What new development would you like to have? What new cylce is beginning.

For my part I am at a HUGE transition in my life... I am fluctuating between cycles in career, family and love. There has been a huge shift in my life emphasizing new beginnings, and major changes to come. So I will be up at 5am (my time) which is about the time that the energies will touch down in the Earth somewhere in India.........

For more info to assist you in creating a ritual for this time...you can use the same correspondences as AIR..........

Links :http://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/SEmono/TSE2009/TSE2009.html

The Danger of Astrology

It all started with me reading a text somewhere about my astrological configurations for 2008-2009. I read that this period will be the time of casting away, and letting go of all things that were not real, or really good for me. Jobs, places, relationships. That got me spooked. How real is my current relationship? We had been together eight years, we had a reasonably happy family life. But something inside me, and inside him knew that something was hollow. I felt it, he felt it, but niether of us were facing up to it.
Instead of letting events take place naturally, I badgered and bagered and nagged him to reveal what his feelings were for me. Must have caught him in a bad time. He exploded.....sort of..... accused me of pushing him over the edge and trying to force him to feel what he didn't feel.
The arguement died, we even made up...sort of.
Again I pushed....this time it was decided that if neither of us were truly happy in the relationship, maybe we would be better off apart. He says that for the last five years he hasn't loved me, and has stayed for the sake of the children. That hurt. Here was a man, who I cannot have any fault with his ability to provide for us, admitting that he was not happy with me. It was agreed that he would move at the end of the month.

Things sort of calmed down for a few days. We even made passionate love, before it began I asked him if he was using me, or I was forcing him....but he said no, he wanted to make love. All that day he was sweet, we made love twice........ I thought we were back on track.... I had hoped.

But then I pushed again....and it broke this time......flaring up in an arguement which hurt so musch, I had to push him out the door. The faster he left, the faster we'd get on with our lives.

Would this have happened if the thought was not injected into my mind? I don't know. But I still think there is danger in knowing too much.

Garlic and Lime Tea for sniffles and Sore Throat

I had a sore throat coming on, plus fears of swine flu with sniffles added. I've been reading about the curative effects of garlic for colds, and lime as well. So I blended this tea, and found an almost instant soothing of my throat which lasted until the next day. Had another dose last night as the itchy throat was returning, but was okay well into the next day. Its 3:00pm and I feel okay. The sore throat has gone, only a slight sniffle remains. The taste takes getting used to but if you like garlic that shouldn't be a problem.

I actually buy a bag of fresh garlic (about 5 heads) occasionally, and blend the whole batch. It keeps in the fridge for about two weeks, and so easy to scoop out what you need. I do not like buying crushed garlic in the supermarket, because there are always other things in there.

Ingredients:

1 tsp Garlic which has been crushed and blended

half a small lime

Two teaspoons sugar

Hot water to fill your cup.

Blend all together and stir widershins, imagining the healing powers getting stronger. Further visualize the germs shriveling to a pulp when you drink it. Enjoy !

Remember, if symptoms persist for more than two days, see a doctor!

Selene- Moon Goddess

Selene, Moon Goddess. Daughter of Titans Thela and Hyperion. Sister of Helios(Sun) and Eos (dawn). Selene fell in love with the mortal Endymion, a shepherd. To ensure he had eternal life, Selene cast a spell to make him sleep forever, with his permission of course. They had 50 daughters together.

From my observations, the following is a list of effects from invoking Selene.

1) Sleep patterns are disturbed.

2) Dreams are more lucid, and energies hover more into the day. These energies can be felt with a shifting of attention.

3) Daytime mind is cloudy and lethargic.

4) Tendency to loose touch with lreality.

5) Magickal understanding increases.

Selene- Goddess of the Moon

Some time back when preping my plant familiar, intuition made me refer to her as Selene.

My familiar's spirit would leave the plant during my spell, travel throught the ether to do my work, and return to the basil plant on my porch.

One day...a guilt trip came over me. I suddenly felt the need to release the spirit, and I let Selene off on her own.

A few weeks ago, while out on the porch looking out in the night, a thought popped into my head..."Selene, show me a sign." Then, in the little grove at the center of the neighbourhood, out flies a huge bird, odd; as it was nighttime. It was either and owl, or a hawk.

Both birds have similar meanings, a guide, teacher, or wise one to show you the way.

I have yet to meet the wise one, I know that I am sometimes closed to others spiritually guiding me. The Wise One, may be Selene herself.

I have found that my thoughts are on the goddess archetypes these days, and I have begun study of them. May I be open to a wise one....if there is one around.

Goddess Candle

When you make your own ritual tools, the energies are stronger. Made this candle last weekend, strictly for the Goddess. I am waiting for Full Moon to light it to pay homage.

I really wish, that there could be a permanent Goddess Altar somewhere in Trinidad. Chaguaramas would be nice...think they would give me a space?

Goddess Rising

The energies of the Goddess are rising in my country. There is a group of artists who are meeting to create an altar for the Goddess, in a space where the spiritual viel is thin.

Years ago, this was used as a place of worship and of burial. There are still graves there, marked by a series of crosses, honoring those who have crossed the bridge from spirit to earth, and back again to spirit.

What does this mean for those of us who hide our beliefs? What does this mean for us who watch these brave creative people, cast all caution to the wind, and do exactly what we were meant to do?

Artists are the Air.....and we the followers are the fire....

The Goddess has been stoking the fire...ensuring that the flame was ready, and at the same time introducing the thought to those brave enough to start the Beginning of the new time.

The date....well...the moon will be in increase........

WHATS THE POINT?

Found this picture on this website below.

http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/pictures/2006/whatsthepoint.jpg

One of those times where I wonder what's the point. Whats the point of blogging when no one reads them. Why pour my heart out when no one hears. Why analyze this unsatisfied feeling in my heart when I will return to it anyway? Why love, when you will only get hurt? Why paint when they sit and collect dust. Why rant anyway, when it does nothing to improve my feelings.

You know what? The world is a shitty place, and I would be glad when its all over.

And whats the point of thinking this way...when the other side of life could be worse....

Back to the Beginnings

The Elders at Witchschool did caution that the learning curve would actually be a spiral. After a feverish frenzy of reading and getting lost in conflicting views, I have come back to the beginning. Am I a witch? If not...then what am I? What exactly do I believe. Here begins the discriminatory process of identifying those thigs that work, and chucking those things that I do not identify with.

One thing I agree with is the Quantum element. The theory that whatever you believe will be confirmed by the Universe....so...what do you want to believe?

I begin a new journey with study on the morning ritual. I am in the process of creating my own morning ritual, encorporating the elements, and specific sounds and movements to greet the day. My ritual should speak of gratitude, harmony with the Universe and acceptance that it knows what is the best direction for me to take....

I begin again.

Lonely

As usual...