SPIRAL SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

Our spiritual development is indeed like a Spiral Dance. (Kudos to Starhawk)

An anonymous reader reminded me of something the other day which stopped me in my mental tracks and forced me to start looking inward again. The clutter and confusion I feel may indeed be my mental clutter.

I attempted to do a mental clearing on Sunday gone and realized that there was more work to be done than I thought.  I am surrounded by Toxic thinkers, and cannot remove myself from them for a while. However, I need to offload the junk that I have been carrying and re-focus on my goals and MY moving ahead.

The above drawing shows a type of mental trap that you can get yourself into. The center being your  predominant thoughts and beliefs; your journey moves outward in that spiral motion, continuously re-assessing the same issues associated with the Central Thoughts. Eventually, at some point, you may realize that your Central thoughts are controlling your life, and actually trapping you in a cycle. 

You must shift your  focus elsewhere.

 This changes the vibrational quality of your mind, your Center begins a different vibration. You move from a re-hashing of those issues and begin to focus on something else.

Now this is where is gets tricky. Anxiety, stress and worry about issues related to these Central Thoughts cause us to go  back and forth in that spiral moving outward and inward, but still trying to process that same isues. 

Its a trap we can get into.

Does it ever change? Clearly, when we realize that fear of the thing is more damaging than the thing itself.

How do I know that I am at this stage? Because I no longer feel a connection to the Divine. I have not felt that the activities that I do during the day truly are taking me to a stronger better me. I seem to be expected to fulfill others needs constantly and put "me" tasks on the back burner. This has me feeling stuck in a whirlwind with no end insight until I am physically able to remove myself from these toxic people who constantly scream"Me me me...look at me, help me!!!!" and make no effort to help themselves.


My work on clearing my mind continues....but I feel like the crap comes back because I keep having to rest my head there.

Pastor Thinks I am Evil......

I think the number one new career in this country is to become a pastor. Not a priest mind you, a "cast out your Demons" pastor. Maybe its the money?
So Son of Pastor gets me in the corridor at work and starts questioning the validity of my faith.

" Who do you pray to?"
" The Gods"
"Do they answer you?"
"Yes"
"Is your life in turmoil since you stopped going to church?"

"Actually, its been a lot better since I stopped going to Church and started searching for Spirituality in myself."

Son of Pastor winces at this one. "Have you given yourself to God?"

"Given.......I never removed myself...what's there to give?"

You know, the whole problem of this "Wicca is evil " thing is that people just need to be educated about it and stop worrying about the lies and misinformation that others tell them. You would never think that the priest / pastor would lie. 

But they do, from our point of view of course. Reality is relative, and not because a spiritual person of another faith tells you something is evil it means he is correct. He, like everyone else has been misinformed. 

Google the damn thing and get other opinions. 

There are always three sides to a story, the trick is to find the third side.

Blessed Be

Born I was with Saturn's Sight

And I too young to know this plight

Did wander round in restless night

His walls which kept me in.

I'd push until I could push no more

Rebelious and stifled

at Saturn's door

my mind will be trapped my emotions sore

My inner self just screaming

And Saturn taunted me

He teased me

Every where I turn to escape

Like some dreaded warden

he'd show me the bars which stopped

and blocked and limited my flight.

I'd befriended the aura of Venus fair

And so Saturn hated her there

He'd block and bar my lady fair

from showing me more minds

In my limited darkness I'd be in pain

bewildered and hopeless

and almost insane

the boundaries around me I pushed in vain.

And Venus would try to save me.

She'd send me gifts

and Saturn would block them.

Relationships and wealth were not to be mine.

He showed me their limits all of the time.

But Venus, being of quick mind

whispered a plan to me

We'd do a spell to push Saturn back

Enlist the help of Jupiter of expansive energies.

Hestia

Hestia is a little known goddess of Greek Mythology. She happens to be my focus now. Daily invoking her energies, I hope to be able to fast forward the process of finding us a home.

Hestia is the behind the scenes person. She is balance and stability. She is the patron goddess of the home fires and the hearth, the one who keeps things comfortable for the family. She is the wise woman, the quiet knowledgeble support for all who reside under her roof. The perfect goddess for the home maker.
I hope, that focusing on Hestia, I will prepare to recieve our new home in the time that we need it. Really, this experience has made me realize how important it is to my kids to have their own space.

I created this little chant to use in my ritual:

For calm by day and rest by night
A home I seek from thee.
I ask oh Hestia
Lead us to a place of 
Sanctuary.
A home of our own
And peace of mind
for happy family
And it harm none, so mote it be.


My next task will be to paint my own version of Hestia, which I will keep to hang over the entrance to my apartment when I get it. Lets see how this goes before I post it in the Godopeadia.