My analysis of my self brought me to the realization that we are all complex individuals. There are several parts of me that can almost form separate personalities. They do not conflict with each other, but blend and compliment each other. In different social circumstances I am forced to hide some from particular groups and have become so well skilled that only those who are intimate with me know all of them..... and their names.......and the blogs that keep each side....well sane and present in my complexed personality.
Today though I will deal with the Healer in me.
I come from a long line of Healers. My grandmother...the traditional nurse. Not sure if the hospital knew she was a great herbalist, of the type that had a wild looking backyard. To the outsider, it looked neglected. But too me, each plant she allowed in her space had a medicinal benefit. It was simple...any complaint you had led to a "bush" being picked. Or sometimes she would simply point out one and tell "you pick it, wash it, chew it".
My mother is a Healer.... of the Catholic Church variety. Whatever my feelings about the Path she follows I must admit that people who come to them seem to be eased in their troubles. I sometimes forget that individuals can have different "healing" needs, and are drawn to the type that gives them most comfort. If you believe in the miracles of creation, then healing can be found in anything, because Everything contains Love and Light....so to each his/her method.
For several years I carried a deep seated guilt about my relationships. I seem to attract, or be attracted to persons with a deep soul wound. I seem to move through my life from one relationship to another, with barely a break in between. I have been chastised by family members for this,to the point that they made me feel like a whore (although I could never resolve how having one relationship at a time for several years made me a whore) until a conversation last year with one made me realize something. Each of them entered my life at a low, confusing point in theirs, and left with a clearer picture of what their purpose and goals were, and were well on their way to personal happiness. Talk about typical Libra personality.....leading people to balance.
I am no longer saddled with guilt about them. I did what I thought was necessary.
Now I can accept that I am a healer....of a different sort maybe.
Now though...its time to heal myself, and I look forward to the process. I can say I have a clear picture of what I want, and the direction I need to have for my happiness. I have tasted those things, however briefly and know where I want to be.
And that is one of the biggest steps to a journey....deciding where you want to go.