Sunday, December 27, 2009
The later part of this year was one long spell becoming manifest. I watched while a spell I casted took effect and did not realize the emotional and mental challenge that it would have on me, while I adjusted to this new role.
That's another thing to note. You can cast a spell, or wish, and have it come true.....but you never realise the feelings that have to be processed in order to accomodate this change in your life. Can you inhale some of the bewilderment and grief of letting go of the old? Can you then process that letting go, in time for the new happenings of joy and contentment that are slipping in at the same time? Can you process two completely contrary feelings at the same time? You need to, when a spell is coming to pass.
It has taken six months for the effects of the spell to settle, and at the other end of that doorway, now, I am finally calming down. I used to feel something to the equivalent of being on EMOTIONAL CRACK...... high on a feeling constantly and not always in a good way. Sometimes my mind switched to "happy happy joy joy bunny on cocaine" in order to deal with my low points.
One of the most difficult things to do during the period was to reassert the goal while in the middle of heartbreak. "You wanted something...and this is part of getting that something."
I never suspected for a moment that the outcome was what would happen. But the greater good was always on my mind. The happier more contented me was always the goal. And I am glad for that resolve...I am now in a better place.