|Our spiritual development is indeed like a Spiral Dance. (Kudos to Starhawk)|
An anonymous reader reminded me of something the other day which stopped me in my mental tracks and forced me to start looking inward again. The clutter and confusion I feel may indeed be my mental clutter.
I attempted to do a mental clearing on Sunday gone and realized that there was more work to be done than I thought. I am surrounded by Toxic thinkers, and cannot remove myself from them for a while. However, I need to offload the junk that I have been carrying and re-focus on my goals and MY moving ahead.
The above drawing shows a typre of mental trap that you can get yourself into. The center being your predominant thoughts and beliefs; your journey moves outward in that spiral motion, continuosly re-assesing the same issues associated with the Central Thoughts. Eventually, at some point, you may realize that your Central thoughts are controling your life, and actually trapping you in a cycle. You must shift your focus eslewhere. This changes the vibrational quality of your mind, your Center begins a different vibration. You move from a re-hashing of those issues and begin to focus on something else.
Now this is where is gets tricky. Anxiety, stress and worry about issues related to these Central Thoughts cause us to go back and forth in that spiral moving outward and inward, but still trying to process that same isues. Its a trap we can get into.
Does it ever change? Clearly, when we realize that fear of the thing is more damaging than the thing itself.
How do I know that I am at this stage? Because I no longer feel a connection to the Divine. I have not felt that the activities that I do during the day truly are taking me to a stronger better me. I seem to be expected to fulfill others needs constantly and put "me" tasks on the back burner. This has me feeling stuck in a whirlwind with no end insight until I am physically able to remove myself from these toxic people who constantly scream"Me me me...look at me, help me!!!!" and make no effort to help themselves.
My work on clearing my mind continues....but I feel like the crap comes back because I keep having to rest my head there.