Monday, January 30, 2012


Our spiritual development is indeed like a Spiral Dance. (Kudos to Starhawk)

An anonymous reader reminded me of something the other day which stopped me in my mental tracks and forced me to start looking inward again. The clutter and confusion I feel may indeed be my mental clutter.
I attempted to do a mental clearing on Sunday gone and realized that there was more work to be done than I thought.  I am surrounded by Toxic thinkers, and cannot remove myself from them for a while. However, I need to offload the junk that I have been carrying and re-focus on my goals and MY moving ahead.
The above drawing shows a typre of mental trap that you can get yourself into. The center being your  predominant thoughts and beliefs; your journey moves outward in that spiral motion, continuosly re-assesing the same issues associated with the Central Thoughts. Eventually, at some point, you may realize that your Central thoughts are controling your life, and actually trapping you in a cycle. You must shift your  focus eslewhere. This changes the vibrational quality of your mind, your Center begins a different vibration. You move from a re-hashing of those issues and begin to focus on something else.
Now this is where is gets tricky. Anxiety, stress and worry about issues related to these Central Thoughts cause us to go  back and forth in that spiral moving outward and inward, but still trying to process that same isues. Its a trap we can get into.

Does it ever change? Clearly, when we realize that fear of the thing is more damaging than the thing itself.

How do I know that I am at this stage? Because I no longer feel a connection to the Divine. I have not felt that the activities that I do during the day truly are taking me to a stronger better me. I seem to be expected to fulfill others needs constantly and put "me" tasks on the back burner. This has me feeling stuck in a whirlwind with no end insight until I am physically able to remove myself from these toxic people who constantly scream"Me me me...look at me, help me!!!!" and make no effort to help themselves.

My work on clearing my mind continues....but I feel like the crap comes back because I keep having to rest my head there.

1 comment:

zularthur said...

Looking at this drawing makes me sad. It's clear that this system is frustrating.

I feel even worse about what I need to say.

Let me ask you though, before I say, how is your breathing? I'm currently in a mode of learning, so I don't need much energy, still, every breath I take, in a gentle and natural way, is equal parts air and subtle energy.

Also, my energy field is neither consciously circulatory or constantly as small as the Middle Pillar exercise may be, for comparison. Rather, often my draft breathes in through the entire planet. I expire forward through my face while the air exits my nostrils.

If you've watched Avatar and noticed how their nose bridges light up you have an idea where you'll feel a strong effect from this. Lessening the size of the draft area to an intake from just around you, in through your skin, will help to keep all your minor chakras healthy.

You will find your own rhythm for varying between wide and close field breathing, but I do think it is essential that this becomes a habit and then a norm. You are at a gate, change is inevitable if you are to proceed.

There are goals higher and more important than the ones that may currently come to your mind, and I really hate saying that. It makes me sound like such a horrible person.

The persons in your life, and their manner, is by design and not ill luck, unfortunately. You have the power to change their energies and so escape this task. But this is your choice, and maybe not the one expected of you.

The alternative is to, for a while, study these energies, their weaknesses, their effects, and how they may be a reflection of hidden weaknesses in yourself.

If you can accomplish this, and eradicate these or similar weaknesses before they have chance to ever exhibit in you, your circumstances will change and you will pass this gate.

Saturn may withhold, but he will not deny, once you've passed his test. Cheer up though, you are not alone.