Monday, March 9, 2009 flux

I have the information. I know the information. I can even break apart and recreate the information.
I have been asked to teach. Why, then does my mind hover on the cusp, like a razorblade edge of indecision? Why does it excite me, but doesn’t. Why do I want to turn away, close all the accounts, snap all the connections I have; and walk from this thing called Wicca.

I know.
I have felt the limitations of the thing. I have felt that if I, and this is only limited to me; if I begin to practice the formal form of Wicca, I shall be mind-trapped by its methodology and Dogma.
Indeed, it has a dogma.
While its elders are arguing that it is a personal faith, with a dash of creativity, there are those who misunderstood its charm, and are intent on placing rules and regulations on form and ritual. This would just defeat the purpose.

Then there is the side of me that wants to keep my options open, and wants to be free to be spiritually creative. Adhering to Wicca, practicing the Craft intently, will create a new paradigm in my mind which will limit my thoughts.
I do not want to limit my thoughts.
Magickal practice too, has its limits. It is limited by my imagination. And since I am currently undergoing a painter’s block, it’s not a very good feeling.
I feel like I am on a boat, rocking with the waves. I have to options, pick a direction one way or the other and steer toward that course, or just lie back, look at the view and relax with the rocking.

Who knows, maybe I may drift somewhere exciting.

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